squirreledaway | (no subject)

..........................re....lation...ship............................???!?!?

oh my GAWD

LET ME ANSWER THE EASY QUESTIONS FIRST. I WILL EDIT/ANSWER THIS IN A BIT

ok!!

SO SOMEHOW, MITHOS HAS BECOME ONE OF HIS LEAST STRAIGHTFORWARD CR EVER. No one knows how to deal. No one. Like, he is still reeling over his secret from the game! To the point that he has almost sort of went into denial over it, because Mithos doesn't seem like that person at all. And while Emil can look past the being a good person thing for Lloyd, it is much, much, much more difficult to do that for something as abstract as what Mithos has told him so far. He can't conceptualize the world being split in two. The scales is completely different between "YOU KILLED MY PARENTS" vs "YOU RUINED THE WORLD" because Emil barely remembers his world. And while he wants nothing bad to happen to any of the people in it, because he's not that sort of person, the fact is that what he remembers most is how cruel people were to him in Luin. That's going to color his view a bit.

BESIDES THIS, he adored Mithos. Mithos was really kind to him, and they could get along despite his rage at Lloyd, and some of Mithos's advice has shaped how he plans to approach things with Lloyd. He took a lot of comfort in the fact that there was someone from his home that he didn't have to hate because of circumstances he can't remember! So, yes, Mithos was important and Emil kind of leaned on him, both figuratively and literally. Which has helped to brew this perfect storm of, even though Ratatosk is hopped up on anger, he's focusing all of it into Lloyd because he (and Emil) doesn't want to do anything rash or not well thought out and ruin something important to him, not until he can understand the scale, and not until he feels more of a tie to his home world.

So, basically, it is easier for him to try and pretend it never happened right now. This will be something that becomes much harder as Emil gains more of his memories, and even MORE difficult once Ratatosk regains some of HIS.

:B I think this is the gist of Emil's thoughts on the subject. SO, HOW DOES MITHOS FEEL ABOUT THAT THERE PACT WITH RATATOSK?

Edited (oh my god) 2011-12-20 16:20 (UTC)

o-oh Emil bawww

He has FUNNY FEELINGS about the pact! And about Ratatosk in general. It really is a HUGE relief to learn that Ratatosk is alive! Like yes there is ALL THE REGRET that he betrayed Ratatosk once and then blocked it out until amnesialand got to him, and ALL THE APPREHENSION because he does plan to make a journey when he goes home to see the Summon Spirits again and apologize, if they'll let him – but it is overshadowed pretty extensively by OH THANK GOD RATATOSK DID NOT DIE LIKE I THOUGHT HE DID.

He'd be able to articulate how he felt about it a little better if he'd seen one of Lloyd's or Zelos's memories about fighting Summon Spirits, I think; it has to do with the nature of Summon Spirits and how they live! Because their material in the game tends to imply that they don't necessarily need to be pacted? Otherwise Mithos wouldn't have been the first summoner to do it for them. But it's generally a good thing for them to be actively pacted (Shadow being the most extreme example, possibly falling apart from the 8(? feelings of not being called on anymore) and when we see personal rejection of a pact (Ratatosk, Origin,) it's because the Summon Spirit feels too betrayed to place that much faith in another again. SO. What I am getting at here is that he also thinks Emil is legit pacted with Ratatosk (if in a weird way) and that is a good thing because it APPEARS to mean that Ratatosk didn't let his betrayed feelings shut him off from others.

Emil's new personality worries him somewhat, but not as much as it could -- it's notable that even without Knife there to verify he would still think of Ratatosk as a part of Emil, not as a second person living in Emil's, just because of...knowing firsthand that this is not a normal thing Summon Spirits do to their summoners. Not that he isn't cautious of it/won't sit on Ratatosk as needed, but he has a lot of faith in Emil to handle himself/learn to do so if he doesn't yet know how. He is a bit secondhand ':X' that Ratatosk-mode Emil has moved right on to trying to revengekill Lloyd without warning, not because OH GOD THAT IS SO WRONG but because with the whole Van situation and surrounding events, he and Lloyd have gotten pretty conscious that 'impulsively revengekill people for stuff they did in the past' is something that can snowball really fast and really badly, especially in a close environment like Aather.

On a personal level he doesn't know what to do with Emiltatosk either except...keep being there for him when he needs somebody, because there was nothing fake about him adoring Emil right back and wanting to help him out, and hoping that they could still be...friends, or...or salvage something positive out of the relationship. Because as much as Mithos expects anyone he tells about his past misdeeds to hate his guts, Aather's also given him a healthy dose of optimism that it doesn't always have to be like that. And in their first talk Ratatosk-mode Emil was mad at him, but...didn't tell him to butt out, which is also a huge relief! So I guess they will keep...with this bizarre sort of trucking on...until a memory/event happens to knock them out of it or Emil asks Mithos to clarify a bit more. Yes.

If you HAD apped Emil as a knight which Personae patronage do you think would have appealed to him? Or to Ratatosk-mode Emil?

Having thought about it! I think Emil would do a patronage, were he a knight, with the nicer personae. I'm thinking Kiriko and Mother Goose, specifically, because one is super cute, and the other kind of mirrors his own personality/needs in a way. He would never be able to handle some of the darker knights.

For Ratatosk-- I honestly really want Ratatosk to thread with the Netted Lion. So, I will need to talk about that. But I kind of imagine the levels of damage there. I also think he'd be drawn to, like, Three. Or any personae with a merciless sense of justice. CHAOTIC NEUTRALS TO MATCH THE CHAOTIC NEUTRAL... But I most imagined Three and the Netted Lion when I was first planning to app him as a Knight.

TELL ME ABOUT MITHOS'S MOST SIGNIFICANT RELATIONS. :3

...w-what does angrysquirrel think of Ven so far...if anything...?

...also let's reply to the main post rather than Mithos, shall we, WHY AM I SO DERP RIGHT NOW D:

<33

AS I KIND OF EXTRAPOLATED IN CHAN LAST NIGHT, Ratatosk's main impressions of people are based almost ENTIRELY off of Emil's impressions of them right now. Ratatosk is too new! And largely follows Emil's desires ANYWAY right now. So, of course, to angrysquirrel Ven is important. And when he feels his regret, it is largely in part due to how he treated Ven :'D So, he's sending people to talk to you, sorry bro.

WHAT DOES VEN THINK OF RATATOSK?

...strangely cute...

So as I think I mentioned, Ven has set himself a precedent of people's tsundere headvoices being part of the team and his friends if at all possible. (He met Kanon *before* he met Beatrice, and loved all over him because he was new and hadn't been kicked repeatedly and made insecure yet, and was pretty much still a ball of unadulterated squishy-heroic perky-moe.) Initially, of course, Ratatosk mostly meant he was freaking out, largely because he is super-invested in Emil and trying to keep Emil okay. And legit panicking that this was it, he'd never see Emil again, AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH. So he didn't give Ratatosk the best welcome ever, and he maybe feels a little bit bad about that, but. Trying to kill people rarely makes a good first impression on Ven.

And then Mithos jesused him and was all like please take care of Ratatosk and Ven was all like yeah people's tsundere headvoices can be my friends too, and from there he basically took on the goal of Befriend Angrysquirrel. Which was...complicated by the game...like he said to Emil, he hasn't entirely gotten over how much the game fucked with him or how >.> he was at Ratatosk's actions enough to be like IT'S OKAY WE TOTALLY COOL with Ratatosk, but. He wants to, he doesn't hold a grudge, he's just. A mess right now.

He also does pretty firmly think of Ratatosk as a separate personality because, well, Roxas issues, and he's from KH where generally somebody's headvoice is a completely separate person and it's disrespectful to people's identities to think otherwise. '-' Maybe not entirely sure what's going on there yet, bbbut...he thinks it's kind of unfair to either personality to consider it the same as the other. He sees them as working together towards a common goal but having some pretty radically different methods.

Blah blah blah mostly right now he wants to talk with angrysquirrel and love on him but he is too much of a mess to do so coherently. '-'

Hhhow is Emil doing?

Emil is functional, yet not. This trauma game was hard on him on a personal level because, well, it amped up all his characteristics and that is hard for him to deal with. However, I think on some level he's a little more functional than he was before? Like. I believe that Emil cannot grow or change much as a person while Ratatosk is completely sealed away. IF... THAT MAKES SENSE. Which it kind of doesn't.

How about, Emil can learn from his experiences without Ratatosk! However, it is the catalyst of Ratatosk being awakened that finally *pushes* him towards changing and growing. Because if Ratatosk is not awake, Emil is merely a protective front (IT'S TRUE, EMIL ONLY EXISTS TO PROTECT RATATOSK H-HAHA, the ironyyyy). And thus, he has no reason to change. No motivation to.

And I think that, while it's skewed right now, this is going to make him a more functional person later.

HOW DOES VEN THINK EMIL IS DOING?

He...gets the general impression that Emil is super-stressed out and guilty because of the game, and guesses that he has something like his own tripled-and-a-half insecurity, and is basically just trying to love on him as much as possible even though he's a mess himself. '^' So kind of in the short term it is mostly "you are sad right now D: LOVE."

Ven still doesn't entirely grok the Emil-Ratatosk thiiiing, but after that comment Emil made about making the pact to get stronger, he sort of has the idea that ultimately Ratatosk is good for him. Because he recognizes that while he loves Emil dearly, Emil could use a few levels of spine and so forth, and Ratatosk clearly has those, and learning, yesh. He's a little scared of Emil going off the deep end and becoming Ratatesque all the time, but he has a lot of trust in Emil's own strength and integrity too.

So blah blah short-term mother-henning and long-term confused but kind of hopeful and encouraging.

Does Emil know yet that Sakura's dating a tree?

No. It will be hilarious when he finds out.

WHO DOES VEN HAVE A CRUSH ON RIGHT NOW?

NOT BEING FUCKED UP

er

which is to say that sort of thing is seriously on the back burner atm but

He continues to carry small puppy-crush torches for Aeris and Willow, because really, you can't not. He continues to be madly in love with his twin in all ways. He might have proto-crushes on Sakura and Sayaka and Spitfire, those are the ones that come to mind right now. Emil is actually heading into ILU-dearly-and-probably-have-a-crush-on-you-by-default territory, because Ven...has poor relationship boundaries...and if he's close friends with somebody also tends to love them and crush on them in at least some proportion.

I am derp for questions right now. Does Emil actually have a crush on Sakura or anybody else, and how conscious is he of it if so?

TEAMS YOU THOUGHT EMIL WOULD BE PLACED ON ORIGINALLY. :O like guesses and stuff (unless you specified peridot for him or something)

It was Peridot or the knights all the way |D Like, I apped him as a knight and then specified, "If a slot on Peridot opens up, though, I WOULD LIKE TO TRY AND... SLIDE RIGHT IN THERE..."

How do you think your characters would have developed differently if they were on different teams?

Natsume is prettttty versatile and I think he would be generally the same on different teams. LIKE I can imagine he would probably distance himself easier on other teams, or might completely feel out of place. Emerald actually gives him a sense of belonging. Coral made him pretty team-dependent. It might have been different on a team that didn't care as much as they did or didn't treat him like family. He'd probably be more game-y and less fuzzy.

Did you like Mika, Emil...

TALK AT ME ABOUT ME i know there is new stuff with Emil's view on the fact he's trying to kill Lloyd in earnest now apparently and Ratatosk opinions and la la

ALL THE COMPLICATED FEELINGS!!

Basically, Emil and Ratatosk are a *liiittle* divergent right now? Ratatosk attacking Lloyd immediately was because Emil, for all his hang-ups about Lloyd DOES still have that rage, and. Ratatosk honestly believed he stood a chance against him. Or, rather. Didn't care whether he did or not. It was a matter of "HE IS RIGHT THERE, WHY HAVE I LET THIS GO SO LONG..." It was something that was inevitable in a sense. I didn't intend for Ratatosk to attack Lloyd again any time soon, but then the game happened.

And this is why they are... not entirely on the same page right now? Because Emil is really starting to understand the IMPLICATIONS of such an act within Aather's context, regardless of how much a right he feels he has to it. Besides he's so confused that someone like Lloyd could have done something so horrible to his parents. It is hard to figure out, so he is compartmentalizing Lloyd right now. So, that makes it easier for EMIL to hang with him, but does not work as well for Ratatosk. And with Emil's anger stat being so high right now, it is impossible for Emil to win this battle of... not attacking Lloyd.

UNLESS SOMETHING CHANGES, I THINK SOME SORT OF PEACE WILL. OCCUR AFTER EMIL IS NORMAL AGAIN. Because even Ratatosk is not so angry he goes into a fight he would clearly lose every time. After the first fight where Lloyd stomps him, Ratatosk is clearly stronger and more capable in every subsequent fight they have, so I don't think he'd try again if he hadn't improved on some level. (HE USED TO BE PRAGMATIC, OR SOMETHING...)

So. Would Lloyd laugh at Emil's crush on his girlfriend.

He'd think it was cute - does that count as laughing? Luke is also crushing on Knife or was at one point and he was aware of that, and basically the same feelings. He wouldn't feel threatened by it or dismissive of it, really. He thinks it's kind of natural to crush on Knife because he crushes on Knife and obviously everyone with good taste will do the same |D;; he doesn't really think Emil is Knife's type though so it'd be kind of. A-awwww.

Will you flip a table when you find out you're crushing on my girlfriend...